Best Kept Secret – Your Parish’s Social Media Lifesaver Is Here

Even the most heartfelt posts you write from your parish’s social media accounts can occasionally draw negativity online. When that happens, it’s important to focus on stewardship, not just damage control. How your parish responds publicly to negative comments on your social media posts and on forums (like Google reviews) reflects your parish’s values, leadership, and the welcoming spirit of your community. As your parish’s social media manager, having a plan for dealing with negative comments is a good start, but it’s also important to develop a staff-wide policy. A written policy can be agreed on by anyone who might interact as your parish online through social media or other apps and will ensure that your parish’s voice is consistent, charitable, and mission-driven, especially in moments of conflict. When expectations are clear and shared, it empowers staff to respond (or not respond) with confidence and unity, always rooted in your parish’s values. If you want to dive deeper into the full picture of how to approach parish social media management as a whole, we’ve put together a free guide that you can explore at your own pace. Ok, let’s discuss what to do when negative comments pop up. 1. Discern Before You React It’s easy to immediately feel defensive when someone criticizes the parish you love or a thoughtful post you crafted but taking a negative comment personally is rarely helpful. It can cloud your judgment and shift your focus from ministry to defense — which likely isn’t the space you want to lead from. Instead, try to be curious about the commenter and the circumstances by which they decided to post their comment. Pause. Breathe. Then ask: What’s really going on here? Is the comment a genuine concern or suggestion? Could it be a misunderstanding or question? Is it clearly inflammatory, disrespectful, or spam ? By identifying the tone and intent, you’re better equipped to decide what kind of response is needed. Remember, not responding is also a choice you can make! Occasionally, negative comments can lead to meaningful change so be sure to think and gather more information if needed before jumping to conclusions. 2. Respond with Clarity and Charity When comments come from a place of curiosity or concern, take a pastoral approach if you choose to respond to them. Acknowledge the person : Thank them for engaging, even if you disagree. Offer clarity or next steps : Provide information, a link to a resource, or offer to connect offline. Stay visible : Public replies show your parish is open, responsive, and kind — even when challenged. For example, “Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s clear you care about this topic, and we appreciate that. Here’s what we’re doing…” or “We’re sorry you had a bad experience! We’d love to connect with you offline to see if we can correct the issue and welcome you to our community in a more positive way. Please email us at...” 3. Know When (and What) to Moderate It’s okay and even necessary to set boundaries when it comes to how and if you choose to respond to negative comments. One of the worst things you can do as a parish is to get into a “comment fight” in a public forum with someone. To avoid this, make sure your policy has clear boundaries set in place regarding what kinds of comments will receive a response, who is responsible for replying, and when it’s best to take a conversation offline or not engage at all. It's ok to: Hide or delete comments that are profane, threatening, or off-topic. Block users who repeatedly disrupt or violate your community standards. Pin helpful comments or your own thoughtful replies to set a tone for engagement. Use Facebook and Instagram’s built-in tools to filter offensive words and moderate comments ahead of time. Your goal is to keep the space prayerful, safe, and welcoming. It’s often wise to prioritize pastoral care over public defense. Remember to always aim to reflect the mission and values of your parish, even if the conversation is tough. 4. Have a Clear Response Plan and Policy Don’t leave your social media manager or volunteer guessing. Your policy should include: Guidelines on when to respond to a comment, hide it, or escalate it to a staff member. Pre-approved language or tone examples. Who to loop in (pastor, staff, communications team) for sensitive, ministry-specific, or recurring issues. Document this plan within your parish’s official social media policy so all of your team members engaging online are on the same page. Don’t be afraid to update this plan as your experience grows and/or expectations change. 5. Let Silence Speak (Sometimes) Not every comment needs or deserves a reply. Some folks make it their hobby to provoke others online. Learn to recognize what an online troll is and make sure your policy has a plan for how to engage or disengage with them. Don’t engage trolls or baiting comments and behavior. Avoid drawn-out debates in the comments. Instead, invite the person to a private message or offline conversation instead. If you want, adjust your settings to disallow replies on certain posts. Block and “report” aggressive trolls. If a commenter escalates their behavior to threats or hate speech, use the report tools inside the platform you are using. If their comments are criminal, you can report to the police. Remember: you are curating your parish’s own online environment. Your silence can speak volumes when done intentionally. You don’t need to be a digital expert to foster a healthy online space for your parish. Simply starting with a clear plan and leaning on a little pastoral wisdom will set you up for success. With the right tools and tone, even uncomfortable online conversations can be opportunities to witness Christ’s love. For a full blueprint on how to approach parish social media management with confidence, check out our free resource: A Complete Guide to Catholic Church Social Media Management.

This personal story from a seasoned Catholic parish staff member proves how valuable a bad review can turn out to be!