From Criticism to Connection: How One Negative Google Review Became a Parish Success Story

I worked for several years at a lovely, moderately sized neighborhood parish as the director of youth ministries. I would describe our church as super welcoming — great for young families and teens, engaging, and becoming increasingly diverse in our population as our surrounding neighborhoods grew. Although St. Peter had once been a parish situated in a very rural area 50 years ago, it had become a busy suburban parish, with a brand-new public grade school built across the street to boot! We were proud to be so family-friendly!

One day, one of our parish staff members was looking at our church’s Google reviews and noticed that the most recent review was a very negative one. The reviewer mentioned a disheartening interaction they had recently with one of our parishioners. They wrote about how badly they had been treated by this parishioner while attending Mass there for the first time with their three young children. They went on to explain that one of their children was disabled and that it’s already challenging for them to bring all three kids to Mass. Having this negative interaction with a member of our parish during their visit made them feel awful. They were frustrated and hurt.

Our staff was shocked. The collective embarrassment was palpable when we discussed the review. We didn’t have an official policy on how to manage bad reviews, so we decided to gather as a staff to figure out the best way to respond.

During our meeting, it came to light that the offending parishioner was a known troublemaker. Although I didn’t know him personally, this situation apparently wasn’t the first time he’d been at the center of a problem with another parishioner. As he was part of one of the liturgical teams, the staff member in charge of those teams was appointed to address him. I was tasked with handling the response to the review.

Why me? Well, since the person who left the comment had children whose ages would place them in my ministry area (middle school and high school), it was decided that I would be the best person to reach out to her. My hope was to meet her in person and address the very valid concerns she brought up in her Google review and see how we, as a parish, could potentially make it up to her and her family.

I was a little nervous, but I sent her a message. Surprisingly, she immediately responded and accepted my offer to grab a cup of coffee together. Little did I know at the time how much my soon-to-be-friend Marcy would positively impact me and our parish!

During our coffee meeting, Marcy told me everything about the incident and how horrible it felt to encounter someone in a church setting who was so abrasive and unwelcoming to her and her family. In short, the trouble-making parishioner was annoyed at the family who was settling down before Mass and sitting in what he deemed to be his own personal pew. Lots of “you can’t sit with us” energy — that type of thing. I came equipped with the knowledge that this was not his first offense and was able to share with her what steps the staff was taking to ensure something like that didn’t happen again. I thanked her for writing the review and bringing it to our attention because we “really, really did not want anyone to ever experience anything like that.” Without her review, we wouldn’t have known otherwise. 

The entire vibe and feeling of the coffee meetup between Marcy and me relaxed after this. We comfortably chatted about ministry, kids, faith, and family. I walked out of that coffee meeting with a new friend!

After our initial meeting, I invited her to meet the youth ministry parent volunteers I worked with at our parish and to check out our youth programs for her kids. I promised that I would personally ensure that they encountered only friendly faces while with us! Marcy accepted.

Over the course of the next year, Marcy joined our adult volunteer team for the middle school youth ministry. She and I worked together to develop strategy and programming around helping parents with disabled kids feel more accepted in our parish, and ways to provide more options for their children inside our youth ministry programs. She was also a key advisor for new policies that we adopted as a parish that ensured accessibility for families with disabilities to all aspects of parish life. Her kids joined the youth group and made friends, and they all began attending Mass more often, becoming a big part of our parish family!

Looking back now, I’m so glad we didn’t ignore or just brush off the negative Google review. By leaning into an uncomfortable moment and responding with curiosity, understanding, and empathy, we gained more than just insight — we gained Marcy. The community of St. Peter is now stronger thanks to her valuable experience, and together we were able to establish a deeper commitment to making our parish truly welcoming for every family.

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