Hate is a Really Strong Word

Colleen Jurkiewicz Dorman • September 4, 2025
Brown leather armchair on a hardwood floor, against a white wall.

When I was a kid, we had the Dumb Stupid Hate Chair.


It was a chair in my parents’ foyer where an offending child had to sit for five or ten minutes if they uttered the words “dumb,” “stupid” or “hate.” The rules in my house growing up were very clear. We don’t call anyone stupid. We don’t call anyone dumb. And we hate no one and nothing.


Well, today, Jesus has to sit in the Dumb Stupid Hate Chair.


For someone who talks about love so much — for whom love is a legacy and a commandment — it seems weird that in today’s Gospel Jesus is calling us to hatred. It makes us question everything we think we understand about him, about God, about discipleship.


I’ll let you guess which of the kids in my family spent the most time in the Dumb Stupid Hate Chair (Hi! It was me). But I didn’t really think my sister was stupid, and I didn’t really hate my brother. Those were just the words I used, even though they were strictly forbidden — maybe because they were strictly forbidden. They were the strongest words I knew, and you need strong words for strong feelings.


Jesus knew that hate is a really strong word. It’s a word that gets people’s attention. And I think what he wants to do today, more than anything, is get our attention. He wants to force us to consider the ways in which our attachments to this world — and even to other people — supersede our attachment to God. He wants us to radically evaluate what (and who) we love and how we love it and how much of our souls, our lives, ourselves we have let this love consume.


It’s a tough assignment, and we don’t like it. Maybe we kind of hate it. That’s okay: hate has its place. So take a seat in the chair and give it a ponder.

 

©LPi

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